Bereavement in Bipolar Disorder

Most people associate bereavement with death. So you may be asking yourself, "What does bereavement have to do with Bipolar Disorder?"

Bereavement does literally mean "to be deprived by death." When someone is bereaved, they usually experience an intense feeling of sorrow or grief. So while the terms bereavement, sorrow, and grief can (and are) sometimes used interchangeably, bereavement often refers to a state of loss, while grief refers to the reaction to the loss. See the difference?

And losses can range anywhere from the loss of your job, your status, your sense of safety, your pets or your possessions... all the way to the loss of the people closest to you. I've met people who have grieved over the death of their dog or cat just as much as other people I've met who have grieved over the death of their spouses, haven't you? And, even though it may seem strange, people really do experience the same sort of feeling when they lose their job! It may not last as long, and the feeling may not be as deep, but it is still there.

There are two ways that bereavement relates to Bipolar Disorder. The first way is for the person who has the disorder (who we call the survivor). When they are first told that they have Bipolar Disorder, they may feel bereavement at the loss of their job for one thing, since they will probably have to go on Disability. But also in other ways, since they may feel bereaved at the loss of their "sanity," loss of their "normal" way of life, loss of their "status" in society, and other things.

The survivor needs to adjust to a new way of life, and may find that they go through a period of bereavement - actually mourning the loss of their "old life," or their "old self" or, simply, the "old way of doing things." Having Bipolar Disorder will mean doing things differently, and it will mean a big adjustment for them.

Bereavement also relates to Bipolar Disorder for the person who we call the supporter, the one who supports the loved one who has Bipolar Disorder. They will not only share some of the same feelings and experiences as I talked about in the above paragraphs but, in addition, they will have their own sense of bereavement when their loved one is in a Bipolar Disorder episode. When someone is in an episode, they are not themselves - so it is very normal for the supporter to be feeling a sense of loss (bereavement) of their loved one.

The good news is that these feelings of bereavement are very normal in the world of Bipolar Disorder. You can share them in a Support Group. There will be others in the Support Group who will know what you are talking about, and know how you feel. They will also help you adjust to this "new way of life" if you are new to the diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder.

Just knowing that "You are NOT alone!" when you have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder might help you with your feelings of bereavement, whether you are the survivor or the supporter. Also, sharing these feelings with your psychiatrist and therapist will help.